Welcome !

The Mormon Church - LDS - Rich and Powerful - Worldwide Presence - a strong Missionary Volunteer Force - Impressive and Captivating - I was just drawn to it


I took everything too serious and at face value for far too long - but life is not a nice fairytale and I paid a heavy price for it ...
When life is gray and you are promised a more meaningful higher life (it costs you 10 Percent of your total monthly income) be a part of a higher purpose - marriages and sealings for all eternity ...
The General Authorities are living a comfortable life ! - the Missionaries have to save for their mission ...


Always a special time when meeting Pres.Hunter
at HDQ in Salt Lake City or BYU Jerusalem





I saw myself as "Watchman in Zion" beholding the signs of the times, the winds of war, something big in the making ....
Jerusalem - Salt Lake City - LDS Headquarters - VIP - a deep connection to President Hunter and the Holy Land .... it was overwhelming while it lastet but I was never a devout Mormon and chore teachings never made really sense to me ! My biggest mistake was to take everything too serious and at face value for far too long - and I payed a heavy price for it ! .....
From my personal notes - while still in "Mormon Mode from 1975"
  • Conflict and domestic difficulties mark the coming years due to my church involvement

  • Aug 1984 - turning point - a visit to Germany and death of my father make me kneel again and pray - I remain a loner, LDS life in Israel just goes on without me, except for the ..... - wonderful friends, that also includes the ......
  • 1985-1988 - BYU Center construction - supervised by my good friend Fred A. Schwendiman
  • May 1989 - Pres Howard W Hunter dedicates the new BYU Jerusalem Center for Near Eastern Studies
  • Oct 1989 - Finally - the long dreamed of trip to UTAH takes place. we have a wonderful time with our friends
  • Apr 1991 - General Conference - Salt Lake City
  • Feb 1992 - Another special and important visit to Salt Lake City - celebrating my 44th birthday, visiting my good friends, meet with Pres Hunter and Spencer J. Palmer the author of Mormons & Muslims, he presents me with his book "Religions of the World" and writes : Happy Birthday - May the Lord be with you in your commendable work - Spencer Palmer - Feb 1992.

       



  • 1993-1995 - further visits follow, the saddest being April 1995, my good friends had passed away, LeRoy on 18.Feb and Eva on 22 Mar. , also Pres Howard W. Hunter had died just weeks before on 3 March 1995. It was a sad, although spiritually uplifting conference, still in the Tabernacle Building.

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    Thursday, July 15, 2021

    The early Years of a gray childhood - father's domestic violence - his alcohol problems - I should not have been born - unwanted pregnancy in 1947


    die frühen Jahre - ca. 1951/1952

    Einschulung 1955 - verängstigt und traumatisiert
    Зачисление в школу в 1955 году - испуганные и травмированные     		Rückblick (nach West-Deutschland)

    Du alte "Heimat" - einstmals "Vaterland" vor Jahren ....
    Du entschwandest - fernes Land der Kinderzeit ...
    Doch zurück nur blieben meiner Kindheit schlimme Trauma Narben !

    Und mir gabst du seinen Namen - HANS, der Stukapilot der gnadenlos seine Bombenlast auf alles abwurf !
    Du hast mir diesen Makel angelastet um Seiner zu gedenken - ein Schandpfleck wie dieses verdammte Nazi-Deutschland !

    Mein Deutscher Name existiert nicht mehr ! verstaubt in alten Akten !
    Die die ihn mir gaben existieren schon längst nicht mehr, ihre Gräber aufgelöst,
    nur noch ihre Schatten, schemenhaft ...

    30.Dezember 2020 - zum 53.Jahrestag der Auswanderung aus Deutschland



    Mein Bruder erschoss sich mit 42 Jahren
    Meine Brüder ! Beide beendeten ihr Leben früh, Peter 15.1.1987 (42) und Wolfgang 30.3.1990 (50) ertrunken im Atlantik - Lanzarote - Kanarische Inseln
    И вы дали мне его имя - ГАНС, Стукапилот, который безжалостно сбрасывает бомбы на все!
    Вы обвинили меня в этом изъяне, чтобы увековечить его память - пятно, подобное этой проклятой нацистской Германии!
    Моего немецкого имени больше не существует! пылится в старых файлах!
    Тех, кто дал мне его, больше нет, их могилы растворились, только их тени, мрачные ...

    30 декабря 2020 года - к 53-летию эмиграции из Германии

    And you gave me his name - HANS, Stukapilot, who relentlessly dropped bombs on everything!
    You marked me with this shame in order to perpetuate his memory - a stain like that damned Nazi Germany!
    My German name doesn't exist anymore! gathering dust in old files!
    Those who gave it to me have long since ceased to exist, their graves dissolved, only their shadows, gloomy ...

    December 30, 2020 - on the 53rd anniversary of emigration from Germany

    Y me diste su nombre: HANS, Stukapilot, ¡que arrojó bombas sin descanso sobre todo!
    Me marcaste con esta vergüenza para perpetuar su memoria, ¡una mancha como esa maldita Alemania nazi!

    Mi nombre alemán ya no existe! acumulando polvo en archivos viejos!
    Los que me lo dieron ya no existen, sus tumbas se han disuelto, solo sus sombras, sombrías ...

    30 de diciembre de 2020 - en el 53 aniversario de la emigración de Alemania
    at

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